What Women Entrepreneurs Can Do About Loneliness
Posted by Vicki Donlan on Tue, Jan 31, 2012 @ 05:43 AM
This is an important message to all women entrepreneurs!
If you are just launching your business you probably haven't prepared for what will be a very lonely journey. If you are already in business, it is likely that you are experiencing an overwhelming sense of emptiness and solitude and having difficulty figuring out how to conquer it.
The fact is women entrepreneurs report that loneliness is an ongoing problem in their role as a small business owner. Male entrepreneurs, to the contrary, report just the opposite. So, the question is why are women entrepreneurs so lonely and what can they do about it?
First, from my personal experience as a woman entrepreneur and a business coach working with women entrepreneurs, women state their "feelings" as problems where men state the obstacles. For example, women tell me they want to be more assertive and that they feel too timid or shy. Men will ask for the language or tools to make the sale. They don't see the sales process as emotionally as women do.
Both men and women are initially focused on the details of the business plan and the steps necessary to get the business up and running. In the early days of the startup there isn't time to reflect on feelings of any kind. However, once the business is launched women entrepreneurs are surprised by the sense of isolation that overwhelms them whether or not the venture is successful out of the gate.
Second, from my extensive research on women in business I've culled that society's nature vs. nurture debate is at work here. Let me explain simply by saying that although women have been in business since the beginning of time (A Day In Pompeii) it is still viewed by society more natural for men to choose to lead in business than for women. Notice I said viewed, not more acceptable. In 2012, both men and women are equally capable of starting businesses and succeeding in business. But society's behavior norms for what women want and what men want have not changed as much as the opportunity. Therefore, when men decide to follow their entrepreneurial dreams a vast new world of new role models opens up to them. They are applauded for their gutsiness and cheered. They are encouraged to risk it all to be the next Bill Gates, Steve Jobs or Warren Buffett. They are surrounded by a supportive business community that reaches out to them in extensive methods to get them involved and active and engaged in everything.
However, when women begin to noodle the idea of entrepreneurship they are warned about not taking too much risk. Warned about the ability to juggle/balance their life. Warned about the business environment, the economy, the lack of funding, the lack of customers. Warned that they need more than a great idea to be a successful entrepreneur.
Society believes that it is in men's nature to be successful in business, but that women can be nurtured for the role. Yet, my example above of what truly takes place when men and women join the entrepreneurial ranks demonstrates exactly why women find loneliness and men find support.
Launching a business is not easy for either gender, but I caution women to be prepared for what a majority of women entrepreneurs report to be their number one problem - loneliness.
What to do about it?
Join a women's networking group - the best way to conquer any feeling is to share it with others who understand it. Of course, the more organizations or events you attend the less isolated you will be so get involved with both male and female groups.
Hire a business coach or advisor - find a person you can talk with about your business issues. Someone who will provide feedback on your business and your ideas. Someone who will support you but hold you accountable too. Someone you can call at any time you need and that will work with you at your pace not hers/his.
Put together a team of advisors - banker, lawyer, accountant, investment counselor, real estate broker. This is a suggested list depending on your business. Add in a successful person from your industry to complete the group. Let each person in this group know that you want to be able to engage them with your ideas, when appropriate, to get their feedback.
Find a mentor - an entrepreneur who admire who will share their story with you. Male or female, someone you can talk to and learn from. The perfect mentor is someone who will gain as much from the relationship as you do.
Loneliness is not to be taken lightly by women entrepreneurs. It can destroy your confidence and allow you to withdraw from what you should be doing to be successful in your business. Be prepared.